I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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