you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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