it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
