Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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