Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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