jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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