he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
