What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
