oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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