yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
