i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
