im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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