i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
