i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He shit in the fireplace
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
