Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Success! We fucked roommates!
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