This is not my ceiling
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize