you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
