2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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