yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Randomize
