Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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