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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
