distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
