I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
