i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Girls should come with a carfax report
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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