your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize