I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
