About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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