He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
