Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
