I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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