you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
