Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
