i permit you to call me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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