Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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