im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
