we made out on top of his cat.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
What a dumb baby whore.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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