You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
