the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
