I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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