Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
