I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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