I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
well you can't waste a boner
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize