tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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