garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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