John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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