Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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