Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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