Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize