Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
