I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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