K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
