Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
