glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
