i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
