It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
