The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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