I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
