I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
