I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
