The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
