Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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