will power is for people who don't want to get laid
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
