I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
