dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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