In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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