But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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