he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
