Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize