I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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