Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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