Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
