I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
