ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
