Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
