He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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