His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
