omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
