im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
